Some things just take time.
Good relationships, great sex, a roast dinner and wine to name a few.
My appreciation for red has grown over the years. With each passing warm summer evening and bitterly cold winter night our relationship seems to deepen.
The love story I had with Lambrini at fifteen was left behind like the fickle, but necessary friend it was, to make way for more lasting companions like Malbec and Pinot Noir.
Something I’ve always loved about wine is that it only gets better with age. In a world where we’re constantly trying to eradicate any signs of ageing and want everything yesterday it’s a gentle reminder that somethings are worth the wait and are even more beautiful with the passing of time.
I find this also to be true with friendships.
One thing I’ve found is the best things in life have to be nurtured to become what they are, the best. Friendships shouldn’t feel like hard slog, but do require effort from both parties. If the phone rings, you swear at it and then your tempted to drop it into your bath even though your unsure if it might electrocute you then I would advise a serious reevaluation. Come on, I’m sure we’ve all been there once…
Like my Lambrini I’ve had other relationships fall short and not stand the test of time. When you’re in that moment you couldn’t imagine being without them but when you look back on your friends throughout your life so far, you may only still speak to a handful from the beginning. If any at all.
People change and that’s okay. It’s important that you’re a different human than you were ten years ago. I’m so glad that I am.
You outgrow one and other sometimes and it’s usually no ones fault, it’s just what happens. Thank them internally for that particular moment in your life when they meant something more, and helped shape you into the person you are now and let them go. Not all relationships are meant to be a four hundred page novel but it doesn’t make them any less lovely.
Every year I learn a little more about myself. What I’m happy to give, where I draw my line and what I’m happy to absorb from others. I’ve changed and grown so much as a person that it’s no wonder I can count my best friends on my fingers.
What’s usually left after having time to mature is the the bare bones of your relationships. The aesthetic extras are gone and so is the soft padding you thought you might have needed in case you fell short. All that’s left are the friends that help to keep you standing upright and in my opinion they’re all you really need.
This friend could be your sister or your mum. The woman you’ve known since you had a round glasses and an eye patch or someone you met on the train last year. There are no hard and fast rules on how many is too many or too few. You just have to really love each other and grow your relationship together and over time it can turn into the most beautiful of human connections.
Making friends as an adult is one of the most amazing gifts. It feels like pulling a cork on a new bottle and letting you spill out for the first time. They don’t know about that nickname you had or that boy you lost your virginity to at school because they weren’t there. Bliss. If they stay around for a while, you’ll probably get drunk and tell them in the end all of your horror stories but it’s nice to speak your version of the events. It’s so special to meet someone at an age when you feel more sure of who you are and you’re a little bit more fond of the person encased inside your body.
I didn’t meet the friend that was going to be my maid of honour until I was twenty and we really do have one of the most meaningful relationships I’ve ever had in my life.
A good friend, like a good wine, stands the test of time. Don’t worry about the blossom hills that came before, they weren’t suppose to be here now and if they were you’ll find your way back to one and other.
Lots of love,