I lose things.
This could partly been down to a consumption of wine, my occasional inability to pack my belongings away and a slight disconnect to “stuff”.
I’ve not yet been able to pin the blame on Dan but none the less, I lose things.
Growing up we were not spoilt. We didn’t want for much, there were curbs to play curby on and life was good.
When you’re young (and old) people will repeatedly describe you to yourself, giving you traits you might not yet know about, or even have.
Day dreamer, forgetful, clumsy are a few of my so called characteristics.
Looking into traits the other day made me think about the ones I’d been given, I mean it’s so rare you give them to yourself. Trust me, I would have gifted myself best person ever, intelligent and un-forgetful if I had been given the choice.
But would I lose so much if I didn’t already have a predisposition to believe I would. Typical Kirstie characteristics and all that? Maybe I wouldn’t, maybe I’d be just fine.
Loosing things can make people believe you lack respect for them and don’t value there worth or you wouldn’t have let them go wandering in the first place.
This never rang true with me.
I’ve loved things I’ve lost. Hats, friends, coats and precious jewellery to name a few.
Before completing the Marie Kondo method I had managed to keep an array of things safe in my home which is an achievement in itself. I also found a few lost items along the way.
Since simplifying my life I feel a new found love for all I’ve welcomed and also the old I’ve let stay. When I was twenty I wouldn’t have been able to sit down and describe to you every single piece of jewellery I owned, where it sat on my dressing table and how it felt when I wore it, but I can now.
Some items don’t go for trips outside of the house but I look at them and they belong in my home and I appreciate their sentimental value. A small beaded auntie bracelet given to me when Cody was born and a friendship celebrating trinket from one of my oldest ‘chosen’ family members to name a few.
Letting go of believing the things that people expect you to do is hard but necessary when you’re trying to live a life just for you. A life that makes you feel warm and content inside like that feeling that only comes from wrapping your hands around your warm, favourite mug.
I decided I would tell my brain the kind of person I thought I was, and wanted to be. Not the kind of person that lost things all the time or the version of me decided by everyone else. It worked. The tales and stories we fill our mind with have a large impact on how our life and day will pan out.
Every morning I wake up and think it’s going to be a good day and you know what, it usually it is. Now if I keep telling myself I’m actually five foot five I wonder if the universe will produce that for me too.
When wearing my Amme London Pearl Hoops it reminds me of the way I felt on my wedding day. Grateful, and floating around like a Greek goddess, glass of prosecco in hand. Looking at that friendship bracelet takes me back to rolled up school skirts and Singstar events at Saturday night sleepovers. I have a pair of earrings given to me by Dans Nan and Granddad that wash feelings of the beach over me, their home in that sleepy little village and their neighbour who is the real life Father Jack from “Father Ted”, never straying too far from home and waving at the cars that go by. He even made on the news once.
A life lived with less, among things you really love that remind you of your true self, your loved ones or spark a feeling of joy is pretty good living in my opinion.
On that note, I’m just going to go and pack away this jewellery that I’ve spent the afternoon playing with.
Lots of love,