It’s Sunday, it’s the golden hour and I’m sat writing in my favourite dressing gown on the sofa with a gin close by. Now I know it’s not a cosmo, but am I Carrie Bradshaw yet?
I love our sofa. It was probably the least expensive thing on the DFS website and I’ll still be paying for it in two years time but I couldn’t care less. Dan requested a man chair so we ended up with a two seater sofa and his chair. “We definitely need memory foam cushions”. I said it like six times and it was in vain. “No I don’t, not on my chair” was Dan’s very confident response. Trying to trick him into thinking I wasn’t a completely crazy bitch before we moved in I thought it best to agree that he didn’t have to commit to the foam life. I now walk past it every day with it’s Dan shaped butt indent and think how I knew best. A bitter sweet feeling for sure but it doesn’t help plump up that cushion now does it. Sofas really aren’t the be all and end all. I do understand this and I’m honestly not a member of the upper class cushion society but it’s one of the many things we’ve had crossed words about since we’ve been drinking tea from the same kettle.
Living with your significant other is hard. Something becomes important to you and your partner doesn’t get on board, not being able to storm out when you argue because it’s raining and really this is your house too and those times you fall out and end the day back to back between the sheets only to forget you’ve fallen out in the morning and hug them. Oh fuck I’m not talking to you. Just me or any one else?
When you live together and you fall out time seems to slow down and there’s only so many laps of the house, speed walking past them without acknowledging their existence one can really do. Before you lived together you had time to think of your responses and even avoid the problem all together but not now. There is no where to run and it leaves you to face your problems head on. It’s in the air and it demands your attention almost instantly and this is when your new found communication skills come in. Being completely honest with each other during confrontation is a skill I don’t believe you can master until you’re under the same roof, I know it was the case for me anyway but with constant good communication and learning how the other ticks makes saying that you are fed up of watching him play football manager becomes much easier. You’ll never be able to jump inside your partners brain and know fully how they’re feeling, it’s just not possible and we probably wouldn’t enjoy it. We do however have no problem hearing our own internal voices chattering away constantly, analysing things that have been said and guessing their reaction before they’ve given it. I guess I’ll never know if you love living with me or if you too are secretly really annoyed you didn’t go for the memory foam, I’ll just assume we’re on the same page for that one.
Amidst the small arguments, explosions and crossed words lie subtle little looks and new found inside jokes. Noticing things they do you never picked up on before connects you on a higher level and things do change but not usually for the worst if the love and trust is strong.
Early morning light accompanied by a cup of tea brought to you in bed, putting the dinner on without asking and a hand on your leg while your watching telly is the thing that sends me joy these days. Grand gestures feel far from and in between now but nothing quite compares to sharing a six pound bottle of red slumped on the sofa together and the comfort of being able to sit with a true friend in silence.
Lots of love, K x