Do we take ourselves too seriously?

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

Elbert Hubbard

Let’s set the scene.

I am sat writing this piece at my desk in my underwear. A Chantelle lace bra on top which makes me feel feminine and strong and if you were to cast your eyes south you would bear witness to some slightly dishevelled green pants from god knows where, lacking in elasticity and allure.

Sitting in the sun for four minutes this afternoon I felt like I’d rocked up in another country wearing standard English clothing. I undid one button of my dress, then three, then five and before I knew it, it was on the floor.

Is this acceptable? To be sat in my garden in my half unsightly underwear? Say my neighbours looked out of the window and phoned the police on the grounds of indecent exposure. Telling myself firmly, multiple times, it was no different to a bikini I decided to stay where I was, half naked, glued to my garden furniture.

It would not bother me to see someone else in their garden not fully clothed, but surely, it’s not right for me to do the same. I am twenty-five years old, a homeowner and a manager and perhaps I should not be in my garden in my green pants.

My Instagram is filled with pictures of the female form (mostly mine) because it fascinates me. It’s art and in my opinion, there is nothing in the world quite as beautiful as the curve of a lower back or the little lines around a women’s eyes when she smiles.

Photography is different, you catch a moment or a feeling that you’ve curated, you don’t stomp around jiggling, sprawling out in unflattering angles.

When I first started working if something went wrong, I would find myself in a state of panic, unable to see clearly and worried about what the next few days would hold. I remember telling my boss from one my first ever jobs something that I’d done by accident. I planned the conversation in my head carefully with each different outcome. Fired, disciplinary or embarrassment. Finally, I plucked up the courage to speak to her and she said something along the lines of “Kirstie, look at your face. It’s going to be okay. No one will get hurt, you will live to the end of the day. Don’t take these things so seriously. Of course, you need to try your best in all you do but you’re human. Learn from your mistakes. It won’t kill you so smile, call yourself a knob and think of a solution.” Or did I get fired? I can’t quite remember.

I spent hours of my precious life worrying about the outcome of something that was not going to stop the earth spinning and the sun from rising each morning. I forgot all about this little spiel until I was sat there half naked in my garden, wondering what people would think of me and if I really should be doing it.

Following my underwear fiasco, I realised that perhaps I have been taking myself a little too seriously. Yes, there are times in our lives we will all have to be serious. Funerals, signing divorce papers or listening to your boss tell you off but these are usually few and far in between.

When we take ourselves too seriously, we have our guard up, worried what Sharon down the road might say when we place our bottle bin out on a Monday morning. The thought of Sharon may be keeping you from living your best life. When we put so much weight onto the smaller things going on, for example, how many kisses at the end of a text is acceptable, whether that persons compliment was actually genuine or the birthday cake you made that looks like you ran over it and then reversed back on top of it, adds extra pressure to these really insignificant matters. Extra anxiety, stress and sadness when it really isn’t warranted from the likes of a Victoria sponge.

As we’ve discussed previously, we really do have little to no control over our lives and adopting this realisation can help us to laugh at ourselves when things don’t go our way whenever we can.

Floating through life with a more care free attitude would probably mean you’d have started writing that book by now because who cares what your partner will think or you would have worn that ridiculously huge hat even if your friend made a joke. Laugh with them, it’s funny, life is funny, steal the laugh back. It will make everyday problems turn from disasters to hilarious dinner time stories.

When you slip on a banana peel, people laugh at you; but when you tell people you slipped on a banana peel, it’s your laugh.

Noah Ephron

The saying “mountain out of a molehill” describes what a situation can turn into when we take ourselves too seriously. If your worried that you’ll look silly for dancing at the works Christmas party, you reword your text messages fifty times and feel embarrassed to take that well below par cake round to your Nans house you may find, like me, that you may be sweating the small stuff a bit too much. And if you are? Whip your dress off and sit in the garden in your less than appealing pants. It does wonders for the soul.

Lots of love,

K x

 

 

 

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6 Comments

  1. June 26, 2020 / 7:41 pm

    This is something I do all too often. I take myself too seriously because my anxiety has be fearing the worst if/when I fuck up. This attitude has made me fail during so many job roles that could have really turned in to something if I just did my job without my internal monologue.

    I’ve been really struggling with the idea of letting go (especially recently) and just doing what I love instead of what is expected of me, but I’m trying so hard to change my mindset and strive for the life I want.

    Kate | thelittlecrunch.co.uk

    • Kirstiestillpetite
      Author
      June 27, 2020 / 4:14 pm

      Thank you as always for your lovely comment Kate. Relax into it and ask yourself if doing something truly makes you happy and if it doesn’t, see if you can not do it or change it to better suit you. You are doing an amazing job, lots of love x

  2. Samantha
    June 27, 2020 / 10:31 am

    Love this post very interesting points. I find I’m always worried about what people think of me or the things I do (this was work related.. when I first started working from home) I was anxious and iratable and questioning what I did.. I was to hard on myself and wasn’t getting anywhere. Now step forward a few more weeks and I’ve told myself to be relaxed, to talk to others and realise you can only do so much. Once you change your mindset about it you become more relaxed … because what’s the point in stressing over things you can only what you can do.
    Great blogs ❤️

    • Kirstiestillpetite
      Author
      June 27, 2020 / 4:12 pm

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read lovely, It’s so true though. Relaxing and trying to laugh at ourselves a little bit more can really help xx

  3. July 4, 2020 / 10:14 am

    Beautiful post, as always. I used to take everything far too seriously and would always sweat the small stuff. That’s not to say I don’t still do that now because I do, just not as often as before. When you realise how short life is and how debilitating worrying about insignificant things is, you realise that you’re simply wasting time when you could be living life without a care in the world. Who cares if your hat is too big – as long as it puts a smile on your face and makes you feel a million dollars then that’s all that matters. If people want to laugh, they’re probably laughing because you have the confidence to do the things they don’t. Another great piece! And I would like it if I could figure out how to! xxx

    • Kirstiestillpetite
      Author
      July 4, 2020 / 11:12 am

      Thank you so much, I’m so glad you liked it! I think it may be impossible to let go of the feeling completely but checking in regularly and remembering that, as you say, life is short, means that we may only spend an hour worrying instead of the entirety of 2020..
      Lots of love xxxx

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